Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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