So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
