if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
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