I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
