ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
