you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
