It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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