I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
i think i just lost a toe
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
