Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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