um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
i think my cat just said my name.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
