i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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