nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
