It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i love accidental penises.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
