that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
