why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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