There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
