I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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