This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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