I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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