since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
