I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
