I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize