Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
