I wannas sexs uuuuu
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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