Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
