my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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