Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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