that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Come share oat with me in your robe
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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