you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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