He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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