I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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