Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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