his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
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if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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