just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
