That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
