That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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