Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
