I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
