It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
