so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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