so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
