Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
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You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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