No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
