You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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