i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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