Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
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