Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
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It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
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I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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