At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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