just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
