I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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