I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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