wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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