All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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