i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
