nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize