Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
why do cheetos always look like penises
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
party gras won. party gras always wins.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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